Sunday, January 27, 2013

Mad Men Season 6 Predictions

This, my Madison Avenue Manics, is how long you have to wait until the Season 6 Premier of television's famed programme, Mad Men, which returns to the airwaves, or cables, or however you young whippersnappers receive media transmissions these days.

April 7th, this seems like a long time, doesn't it? It is. To make the wait time a little more tolerable, I have decided to let you in on a few predictions I think we can anticipate in Season 6.  Let's see what April has in store.

Peggy Plotline Unceremoniously Abandoned, No One Notices

After 5 seasons of pouting, stomping around, and complaining of being ignored, Peggy's complaints become a self-fulfilling prophecy and she is removed from the world of Mad Men, and no one is the wiser.  Is it because she's not as sexy as some of the more objectified ladies featured on this program that her role disappears?  Yes.  ...and she's annoying.

Pete Get's Wall-To-Wall Shag Carpeting

Pete, in his struggle to be innovative, installs wall-to-wall shag carpeting in his Manhattan pied a terre, and talks about it incessantly.  This verbosity is met with the sneers  by his co-workers with comments along the lines of, "at least now there's some kind of shagging going on in that apartment," etc., etc., etc. Off-air, his antics prove to be the genesis of the "Let's Shag" drinking game.

Sally's Lisp Miraculously Morphs into a British Accent

Growing up in front of the cameras can be hard. From having to translate her insufferable lisp to enjoying her world-weary tween cynicism in Season 5, Sally completes her metamorphosis by adopting a strange British accent.  This accent will not be consistent and over the course of the season it will have hints of Paul McCartney, Queen Elizabeth & the chimney sweeps from Mary Poppins.

The Fine Folks of Sterling Cooper Draper Price Continue to Drink - Heavily
In light of all these ground-breaking changes, one thing will remain the same.  The ladies and gentlemen of SCDP will continue to drink, and drink they shall.  As we crawl into the gaudy 70's fine scotches will be replaced by beer bongs and coke off strippers asses.  It will be sufficiently depressing, with an air of longing.


In a shrewd appeal to the 18 - 25 demo, the opening credits will begin with Joan (Christina Hendricks) sending an evocative "selfie" to one lucky viewer.  Stay tuned!

That's all I've got so far.  I would, of course, like to provide you with more predictions, but AMC has only released 4 pictures, so that's that.   Till then, let the countdown begin.

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