Sunday, November 27, 2011

Cooking with Lisa - Thanksgiving Episode

Do you know what this is?

This is only the kitchen that created the World's Finest Thanksgiving Dinner™-you know, no big deal.  But do you know what this also means? More rhetorical questions? No! It means it's time for yet another episode of Cooking with Lisa!

This episode boasts a whole host of new additions: A change of venue, new assistants and I get all up in a turkey's guts.  Alright, stop squealing.  Your episode awaits you...

So on behalf of Greatness with Garrigan Gumption, The Garrigan-Richardsons and "Larry" have yourself a very Happy Thanksgiving and you may now begin watching this:

Monday, November 21, 2011

About "A Bag of Dicks"

Evidently, there’s a new item on all of my friends Christmas list this holiday season.

A bag of dicks.

Yes, not a day goes by in which I am not instructed to by one of my friends to, “go suck a bag of dicks” or “eat a bag of dicks.”  Excuse me if this is apparent, but I have awful, awful friends.  However, I’m a pleaser so when I get requests such as this, I want to do whatever I can to at least entertain the directive and find some sort of compromise.

With that in mind, there are limits to the areas of my expertise, and as such I’d like to take a moment to help mitigate a few outstanding points that will help inform my future engagement or abstention from working with “a bag of dicks.”

Sunday, November 13, 2011

The Godfather: Part I – A Weekend At Baptism Prep

I’m on my way back from Boston where I spent the weekend with my sister, Lise, her husband, John, and their young’un, Calvin.  The main purpose of my trip was to take a class at the Holy [Insert Name, really, any Catholic-y Name will do.] Church to be prepared to welcome Calvin into the perpetually guilt-ridden Catholic faith.

When Lise, first asked if I'd become the Godfather, well, it didn’t go like a typical Godfather request.  Because we’re not a typical family.  We’re “connected,” ya see?  The scene, familiar to any cinephile [or if it's not familiar to you, you can click here], went a little more like this:

Saturday, November 05, 2011

Marathons for Lazy Folk

Have you ever thought to yourself, "you know, I could probably run a marathon if I put my mind to it."

Well, you can't.  It's hard and you're lazy.

Fortunately, for all you disgusting slobs out there, I found something that will allow you to sidestep all that training and sweating and grunting and carb loading and nipple greasing and expensive shoe buying and hoping your significant other will notice that you do have ambition, goddammit!! 

All you have to do, is find yourself a fake finish line, cross it  and enjoy the resulting accolades.  You know, like this:

See, wasn't that nice?  You may now return to eating your feelings.


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