Sunday, February 27, 2011

Premonition: Oscars 2011

Ladies and da gentlemen-a, Patrick-ah 'eah to provide you wit da correct ansahs to who ees goin' to win da 2011 Oscahs.  You want do know? Calll me!

Tonight is the OSCARS! That's right, just like the Grammys are music's biggest night, the Tony's are Broadway's biggest night and the Marion, Ohio Midnight Beaver Chase & Beard Trim are my biggest night.  Tonight movies, that under-appreciated, oft-overlooked craft takes center stage for one night only!

Given this industry's relatively low profile the rest of the the other 355 days a year, there's a lot of interest and speculation as to exactly who's going to win the illustrious Golden Kojak.  Last night as I slept snugly in my bed visions of really attractive people safely cordoned off from the poors danced in my head.  Visions that have manifest themselves as premonitions, yes, a vision of who will win tonight's Academy Awards.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

It's The Least You Can Do

You have a voice! And it's a little more nasal than you think!

Ladies and gentlemen, we live in exceptional times!  Between the revolutions in the Middle East, union & budget debates in the Midwest, the threat of a federal government shut down and the removal of the McRib on the Dollar Menu there is big news in the world!

If you're anything like me, you've felt the conflict of wanting to get involved with the need to see who is going to be on the next Dancing with the StarsHow does one reconcile these seemingly opposing desires?  I've got just the thing for you!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Communique from Cairo

Isn't Egypt nifty?  The Nile, the Cairo Museum, the Pyramids of -- HOLY FUCKING SHIT protesters!!!

As a journalist(?), I have been following the protests and eventual ouster of Hosni Mubarak in Egypt. I have to tell you in the early stages I was so incredibly moved by the displays that I witnessed on TV that I had to hop on the 1st plane to Cairo so that I could capture the images first hand.  Well, it was pretty intense.

As soon as I arrived I found myself smack in the conflict, fighting against uncertainty as state thugs attempted to snag my Canon PowerShot and fedora with "press" card snugly inserted into the band.  I couldn't help but feel that this movement was unstoppable, much like the honey badger.

Through my dogged  reporting, I was able to salvage many pictures from the protests.  Shocking,  surprising photos of the protesters making their grievances known through that most timeless vehicle of non-violent civil disobedience, the protest sign.  Signs which I share with you now.

Saturday, February 05, 2011

Bad Ass Department

Have you ever thought you were pretty bad ass?  Ever chased a cobra up a tree?  Ever been stung by bees and not given a fuck?  You might be a honey badger!

Thanks for watching, stupiiiiid!

Thursday, February 03, 2011


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