Tuesday, December 14, 2010

All I Want for Christmas is You!

What do you get for the man who has everything?

This is Nick Cannon. He has everything.  He hosts America's Got Talent, but No Taste or some show, was the lead in the egregiously overlooked Drumline, and perhaps most importantly is the CEO of sexytime with Mariah Carey.  We might think Nick Cannon has it all, but for a just a moment put yourself in Mariah's crazy ass shoes.

How do you ever go shopping for such an accomplished person like that? I mean, he already has a red floppy hat!!!

Mariah did what so many of us do when material gifts just don't seem to fit the bill. She provided him a homemade gift from the heart (of consumerism).

You know what happened when Nick received this gift? He was so happy he went out and bought her a solid gold sausage casing:

Then they ate (4) apple fritters, tattooed their dogs' names on their inner thighs and hopped a private plane to Graceland because they like to party like a G6.  You know what the best part about this whole thing-aside from Mariah's tittays, of course- is that her gift inspired others.

Others like Keenan Cahill here who chose to give the gift of music to Gia. A feminine specimen we can only assume is either this girl or this girl, but probably this girl.  Keenan, share your gift:

Well, something good must have come out of it, because then I went to his Facebook page and all these people were going on about how sexy he was.  Shit! I need that kind of attention; so I hope you'll indulge me / be turned on by my own version of this immortal classic.

Well???  Accolades & hot ladies, pleases.  Yes, this Christmas I hope I find this under the tree...

A Very Merry Christmas to Nick Cannon, Strange Young Man & ME!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

That hobbit is hysterical. I think I caught a glimpse of your child of the future.


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