We Need A Little Christmas

Today, I left my apartment and I saw my favorite seasonal sights.  The quaint Christmas lights of Astoria's ambling avenues!  Oh, sure they may not spark these puppies up for another two weeks, but just the mere sight of them made me giddy.

Then I went home to my personal computer (PC for short) only to find out that ELF the musical is opening on Broadway tonight! These are all Christmas Miracles™!  Miracles that are providing inspiration for holiday Magic!

For quite some time, I have held the belief that if I could combine my creative juices with my love of Christmas to create a heartwarming holiday stage production, then I would become FILTHY STINKING RICH!!! artistically fulfilled, while staying true to the miracle of Christmas. With that in mind, I hope you'll indulge me as I have what I like to call a "micro-storm" and consider some possible seasonal concepts that could be blown out into complete holiday extravaganzas:

• Decision Points: A Holiday Romp
• Timmy the Trampled: When Wal Mart Door Buster Sales Go Bad
• The Baby Jesus Saw What You Did, Is Grossed Out & Will Be Instructing Santa to Skip Your House This Year
• A Kabul Kristmas Karol
• Frosty the Snowman is Dead Due to Unseasonably High Temperatures
• Follow the Star (When Your GPS Is Broken)
• Mother Mary Goes On Maury - "Joseph, you are....NOT the father."
• The Little Drummer Boy that Got Signed to Major Label
• A Christmas Story 2: Ralphie the Sniper
• Miracle on 134th Street
• Away in a $1,600 Maclaren Nursery Moderne Crib
• WintukTwoHoursOfMyLifeI'llNeverGetBack

So maybe they need a little work.  I'm all about the process so I'm sure that I'll be able to come up with something totally kick ass and you'll be all, "why didn't I think of that?" and I'll be like, "because you don't love Christmas like I do." Then I'll retire to the solid gold igloo I'll have had constructed to pay homage to the creation that made me so obscenely rich, Christmas.

Now if you'll excuse me I have a vision board meeting with Tommy Meehan and Marc Shaiman, natch.