Monday, November 30, 2009

Coming To The Food Network This Fall

Happy Thanksgiving you fat bastards!

What did you do over your Thanksgiving? I don't really care, I just understand that's how normal humans interact before talking about themselves, and so that is what I'm doing right here. ....and ....I'm ....done. Back to me.

While you were busy filling your already constricted arteries with transfat, cholesterol and Indian tears, I was working.

That's right, I know you're shocked that I would be toiling over the holiday, but zip it mouth-breather. I was working on a new show (yet to be purchased / shown any interest by) The Food Network entitled, Cooking with Lisa.

Here's the deal: charismatic young gentleman cooks with his crotchety, yet warm-hearted sister. Ethos, pathos and IBS-generated complications ensue.

What's that? You want to read the treatment? Pshaw! Screw treatments -you ready to get your mind blown? Here are the first (4) episodes. Check it.

Cooking with Lisa

Easy TV executives, slow down, you're jamming up my Sprint 4G Network. You wanna talk to me you must go through proper channels.

Till next week, I'm Patrick Garrigan -and I'mma gonna be rich!

THIS JUST IN: Befuddled deep frier / Food Network Star, Paula Deen has been replaced by me. That's right. I'm taking her time-slot...

...and that ham.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It's nice to see the kitchen of the compound and to see your family. Damn, I love a little overbite.


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