Monday, September 14, 2009

Kanye West Also Hates Puppies

Ruh Roh, trouble at those VMA's!!!



Well, as you may or may not know, I am a huge Kanye West fan. It's true, but after last night and seeing poor Taylor Swift or whatever her name is about to cry because Kanye made a doody on her speechies I felt like I needed to do a little more research into Mr. West

The team here at the Greatness Truth Squad went out and what we found out may shock you!

Did You Know?

1. Kanye is buying all the sneakers so you can't have any.






















This is an actual picture from inside Kanye's crib, where he's trying to buy all the world's sneakers! "When I have all the world's sneakers, then I'll be happy," Kanye confides. "Well, after I have all the sneakers, I may want some toast and a mani/pedi, but for the most part I think that will make me happy, yeah." Guard your kicks!

2. Kanye stole Pee Wee Herman's out fit and WILL. NOT. RETURN. IT.
















You remember lovable chronic masturbator Saturday morning TV fixture Pee-Wee Herman, right? I bet you wonder where he's been. He's been in hiding. Why do you ask?




















Because Kanye stole his iconic suit and just refuses to give it back! Ashamed, Herman now wears a novelty trucker hat with a mullet sewn in the back and works at the Target on Route 5. Give him back his suit, Kanye, give it back.

3. Kanye West is a furry?















It's true, this picture from Cedar Point's Berenstain Bear Country shows an exhausted Kanye after having had his way with Papa Bear -oh the humanity!

BREAKING NEWS!

This just in! Kanye West is broke! TMZ, LMNOP and the Letter "W" are reporting that Kanye West's outburst has cost him a fortune. Outraged hicks everywhere are boycotting his music and now flat broke, he can't even buy his girlfriend, Amber Rose, a proper bikini. Times have turned so rough it appears all he can afford is a spool of yarn from the clearance bin at Michael's. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.


The Truth Squad also uncovered that no one has actually seen a music video since 1998.

CASE CLOSED



UPDATED UPDATE:
Kanye now wants all your fishsticks! He's insatiable!

Thanks to Birthday Gumptioneer, Salli for the tip.

THE STORY CONTINUES...
Kanye now has beef with Obama! Also noteworthy, Obama prefers Swift over Beyonce. Who knew!?

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