Monday, June 08, 2009

30 Years of Bullet Points


Today I turn 30. But what happened before all that?

  • Year 1 - Stars collide and a burst of energy and light is felt across the earth -gassy unus "the gassy one" is born
  • Year 2 - Headline: Sibling Rivalry Rocks Garrigan House
  • Year 3 - Headline: Garrigans - Will they ever stop having babies?
  • Year 4 - Everything is a gun.
  • Year 5 - Learned the word 'serendipity'
  • Year 6 - Working my way up the boy scout ladder
  • Year 7 - Ms. Ghenco has weird glasses
  • Year 8 - Editor for poorly circulated, "Youth Pilots Weekly"
  • Year 9 - There's just something about the leaves
  • Year 10 - I feel the need, the need for speed.
  • Year 11 - Odyssey of the Mind -cause I'm 27% smarter than you.
  • Year 12 - Was dating Beth. Don't remember Beth's last name, but it was a pretty big deal that I was dating Beth.
  • Year 13 - You're growing up, here's your Claddagh ring.
  • Year 14 - Mapped out class schedule, beaten up any way
  • Year 15 - Playing the role of hot-tempered Puerto Rican gangleader, Bernardo, is sophomore Patrick Garrigan.
  • Year 16 - The car is buried up to its axl in shite.
  • Year 17 - You're reading the blog of the Marion, Ohio Teen of the Year
  • Year 18 - Strippers, lottery tickets and throwing up on cigars.
  • Year 19 - Culture shock
  • Year 20 - Failed sophomore evals, life as we know it is over.
  • Year 21 - Fuck you Pirate Bay rum.
  • Year 22 - What I did for love
  • Year 23 - "Iceberg, riiiiight ahead!"
  • Year 24 - You are now a member of the Actors Equity Association of America. You will find the number for unemployment directly under your membership number.
  • Year 25 - Me, America and a big orange van.
  • Year 26 - That's life.
  • Year 27 - Astoria: we got street meat!
  • Year 28 - Built World's Largest Cannoli Christmas Tree
  • Year 29 - Writing a Book for Dummies
  • Year 30 -
And thirty is yet to be explored. Incidentally, this is also the outline for my memoir. so if you try to steal it before I can get it into the grubby hands of those folks at Random House, I'll cut you.

See you at Gossip tonight!

1 comment:

megan said...

Kramer...Beth's last name was Kramer. And yes it was a big deal!

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails