Saturday, October 25, 2008

GWGG Endorses...

Please press PLAY:

Yeah, that's my jam. I am going to make a pronouncement, and I feel like a pronouncement needs a good anthem. Wouldn't you agree? Of course you would, I know how you feel about anthems.

Ladies and Gentlemen, here at this monument to self-importance we like to call Greatness With Garrigan Gumption, I have made strident efforts to curb the impulse to place my own political views here out on the internets, because frankly, they're just not very funny. Well, I think abortion is hilarious, but no one else seems to agree. You can't win them all, I reckon.

I, like most of the country, am a radical moderate. Middle of the road. To folks back in Ohio I'm a liberal heathen. To my New York crowd, a heartbeat away from becoming a Republican. Maybe it's my contrarian nature, but I like that. I believe in a strong military. I believe in personal responsibility. I believe in social freedom. I believe that I have been blessed to be born in this country and I should have to pay my fair share. In other news, I believe in the deliciousness of Cinnabon.

Because of this duality, I've watched the run-up to the election like a hawk. A wildly attractive, sadly talonless hawk. In so doing, I tried to give both candidates a genuinely fair shake.

The Endorsement

After careful review, and (unanswered) requests to both candidates for a gift bag and Cabinet-level position, Greatness With Garrigan Gumption endorses:

Throughout the early season, I watched with glee as candidates ran the campaign gauntlet. Mostly, because it allowed me the opportunity to post pictures like these:

When Hillary was knocked out, I was one of the scorned 18 million who considered McCain an option. McCain's stances, choices, and words made this a very short honeymoon.

All the big ticket items, left me sad faced.

Iraq: Stay until we're done. As someone with family members currently in Iraq, that's not a plan. At this point, 'should we have gone to Iraq' is academic to me, what we're going to do now is the question. I am one who will concede that the surge has worked, but this success by our talented military is moot if it doesn't forge a path to getting family safely home.

Economy: “The issue of economics is something that I’ve really never understood as well as I should.” -John McCain (Boston Globe, 12/18/07). Holy shit! I don't really understand the economy either but I'm not running for President.

Health Care: Opposes universal health care. Now, I'm not advocating a socialist state. (Unless it means we get to return to those cool, vintage red propaganda posters, 'cause I would really like one of those framed over my couch to compliment the one I have of a monkey drinking vodka RIGHT OUT OF THE BOTTLE. Silly monkey....) But as someone who spent years with sporadic or non-existent health insurance, the lack of options is terrorizing. To write it off as a non-issue or offer a piddly tax credit ain't the answer when so many people are in this same position.

The final straw came with the announcement of Sarah Palin as his V.P. pick. If I am to be honest, it is a fact that I want to lay her down on a bed of roses, for tonight I sleep on a bed on nails. I want to be just as close as the holy ghost is, and lay her down on bed of roses. That aside, her nomination is an insult to the ticket and the GOP loyal. It's particularly insulting to moderate Republicans such as Tom Ridge, Christine Todd Whitman, and (for the closeted gay vote), Charlie Crist who would have been qualified, effective choices to sway Independents.

Oh, and if she says maverick one more time, I'm going to gouge out my eyes.

Overall, the tone of McCain's campaign has been angry and divisive. We've had that for the past (8) years and my ears hurt.

Which brings me to why I've come to Team Obama.

I LOVE CLADDAGH RINGS! I believe we deserve better.

In 2000, when W. was elected, I was like, "eh, that sucks." In 2004, my response was, "you've got to be fucking kidding me." Since then I've been hoping for a day when things would be better. I see the promise of that in Obama.

I want a country where by the time I have kids, I won't have to sell my remaining kidney (the other was taken from me during a stint in Mexico City), to allow my kids the opportunity to go to college. A country where when I inevitably contract some exotic disease, I won't have to file for bankruptcy to pay the bills. A country which is again respected in the world and not a punchline to a joke about arrogance and ignorance. I see the promise of that in Obama.

There have been numerous assaults to stir up fear and resentment. He's an Arab terrorist. He's a socialist. And my personal favorite, he's too smart. I want my President to be smarter than me. One time I made out with a girl I didn't know at Blockheads because she said she liked my pecs. Prideful, not smart. We currently have a President who would make a choice like that, and he's a crap President.

The thing is there are more things that unite us than divide us. To my more conservative friends, I may not share your views on social wedge issues -but on the big things- the things that directly affect your day to day life, I'll bet we're not too far apart? In fact, I bet we would have a delightful dinner if we were given the opportunity, and you picked up the check. While open minded, I'm also very cheap.

I make jokes here, but seriously think about where we are right now. Is this where you want to be? If so, I think that aligning yourself with McCain is a good play. Under his leadership -and I say this with genuine respect for the man- the next (4) years will be a continuation of where we are. I don't think most people would say this is where they want to be.

I passionately believe the right vote for this country is Barack Obama.

Regardless of where you are in the spectrum, I strongly encourage you to vote. If you are Obama leaning, vote November 4th. If McCain leaning, remember your voting day is November 5th. I kid. I kid....

Beyond that, what else you can do? Can you donate time to make calls? (IF SO, CLICK HERE). No time? Can you spare $15 (c'mon that's 2 beers, you alchy...)? (IF SO, CLICK HERE)

This is really important and will make a difference. With 8 days remaining, a whole lot can happen between now and Tuesday.

We stand at the precipice. Please don't make me jump off it.




Julie Thompson said...

you liberal heathen!! but at least you did some thoughtful comparisons! love, your Ohio pal and former bus driver

Anonymous said...

Il semble que vous soyez un expert dans ce domaine, vos remarques sont tres interessantes, merci.

- Daniel


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