Monday, November 19, 2007

Hollerrrrr Wordzzzz!!! LOLZ!!!

Why, hello! I didn't see you there. I'm glad you're here, I've got something to share with you.

As an active student of the linguistic process, I recently stumbled upon UrbanDictionary.com. Now, I don't know if you have ever visited this site on the internets, but it is a splendid land where the urban and/or slang verbiage is explained to cracker-ass honkys like myself.

One fine afternoon, my search began as I was trying to discover what "spitting game" meant. I found the following:

Spit Game

To use charm, wit, humor, or other means to verbally let a female know that you are interested in her.

Often includes compliments and other forms of flattery that will hopefully end in a phone number which leads to a date, which leads to hot sex.

Hot sex!!!?? Holy banana bread, sign me up!!!But the lesson doesn't end there. They then go on to use the phrase in context. I mean how else are we going to learn, right? Exactly how does one go about spitting game?
Guy: "Hello miss, my name is _____, very nice to meet you. How you doing tonight?"
Girl: "I'm _____. Good thanks."
Guy: (out loud) "You're looking very beautiful if I may say so"
Guy: (to himself) 'Man I wanna fuck this chick! She got some big tittays!'
Girl: "Awww...thanks"
Jeepers! That was helpful! But what are these tittays of which they speak?

Tittays

Nice tits, perfect shape with perfect cleavage
Normally said about a girl that is good looking and has the whole package
Can also be used in place of female when talking about the future

"Katie has some nice ass Tittays"
"I'm gonna get me some Tittays tonight"

"Tittays, I see some nice ass TITTAYS"
Mmmm, I like tittays. Thanks UrbanDictionary! But wait, there's more! Just when you thought you were "hip to the jive;" you think you've learned all the super-savvy urban chatter? Pa-shaw! You've just begun, chap!


Hit the random button in the upper left hand header and you have just signaled on to the Autobahn of the slang super highway! Beep! Beep! What pit stops might you find in your travels?
FUF - Fat Ugly Friend; one usually has a FUF to make them feel better about themselves.
manarrhea - diarrhea from a man's butt.
and my personal favorite...
MySpace - A place for whores. Initially intended as an online system of staying in touch or re-connecting with old friends, My Space has grown into a compendium of 18 year old Southern California Paris Hilton worshipping attention starved idiots and asexual boys in women's jeans with more product than a salon. Lately, the circus has grown to include lots of half naked flexing bros with bad tribal tattoos and horrible pick up lines, as well as a large influx of internet-ebonics speaking idiots who cannot seem to properly use a keyboard without accidentally hitting the CAPSLOCK button or number keys in their sentences.
I FEEL SO MUCH SMARTZ!! Isn't the interweb a magical place?! You know they're so right, knowledge is power. Bless you Al Gore & your fantastical world of information through the air & telephone cables! Long live the WWW

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