Monday, November 12, 2007

Breaking: STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE!











BREAKING NEWS!

In case you haven't heard, the Broadway stagehands union, Local One, struck this week causing the lights to go out on some (27) Broadway theatres -much to the disappointment of overweight tourists & their equally fat / stupid kids.

When Local One was asked to comment on their reason for striking, the union issued the following statement:




While their message made no fucking sense was not entirely clear, their infectious dancing & a charismatic Christian Bale, swayed many onlookers to their cause.

Day 2 was a far more somber occasion as the organization tended to their picket lines for yet another day. However, on this day the picketers were joined by the hot new pop group, Kids 'n Cans.



Unions throughout the city have stepped up to provide support and encouragement. None quite so vigorously as that of the Actors Equity Association, the union of professional actors & stage managers. Equity member Bill Pullman, has been particularly vocal in his support for the strike. In fact, his efforts have made him quite the favorite among striking hands.



When will it end? No one knows for sure and currently no future talks are slated. What we can be sure of is that it will end with a large production number. Insiders speculate that the strike will most probably culminate with Michael Bloomberg driving through Times Square in a handsome carriage dressed as Teddy Roosevelt. However, at the time of this posting these reports have not been confirmed.

Um, if you have never seen Newsies, none of this shit will make any sense to you. And for that, I'm moderately sorry-ish. Reporting live from Midtown, I'm Shazia Khan.

6 comments:

savannah said...

Thats hillarious... I just two days ago changed my headline on the myspace... you must go check it out!!

Tory said...

you are so stupid. i heart newsies.

ExPage said...

Newsies made me gay.

Ti-Hua Chang said...

Nice reporting, Shaz! I'm live in Astoria.

E to the Garrigan said...

AHAHAHAH!! I can't believe I missed this blog! Good stuff as always. This is Nobel winning stuff..not many would go into the dark underworld of clown culture to bring us the details you provide. Bravo.

Findleyhd said...

This is possibly the BEST blog entry of ALL TIME! Though I am seriously disappointed that "King of New York" with an amazing Bill Pullman solo has been pulled from YouTube making it "no longer avail". Sad. Does Bill think he is above this spectacular number? I think not. Peter and Jerry doesn't even come close. THIS IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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