Sunday, May 06, 2007


Once upon a time....

There was this guy named Patrick. He kept himself busy and stuff. You know, like going to see skits, taking walks to the Upper West Side while his laundry was drying, and going to bars that were within walking distance of his apartment.

One day the weather got nice out -in the 70's and such. Patrick had long ago declared Autumn was the official season of Patrick Garrigan. So when the weather turned warm Patrick grew sad.

"Patrick why are you so sad?" friends would ask.

Patrick then proceeded to rattle off a litany of things he found disdainful about the summer:

"People stand too close to me, I get sweaty, the subway is disgusting, too many tourists, my electricity bill is astronomical, douchebags pop their collars, it takes too long to get a table at Blockheads..."

"Patrick you're an asshole." they replied.

Patrick punched them in the nose.

Upon further reflection, Patrick decided that he would not participate in summertime this year. Instead he reasoned he would create a bunker and sleep all summer. Patrick had never created a bunker before. How does one go about making a bunker?

He did not know.

So instead he just got really drunk, hooked himself up to a "waste removal device" (which is considerably more difficult when you're drunk), and slept till October.

The End.


GGWG Holiday Wishes

Dear Mexicans,
Congratulations on your victory over the French. This round is on me.

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