Saturday, March 31, 2007

GWGG: An Open House

Why hello there! Thank you so much for coming to my open house! What's that? The place looks lovely? Oh, thank you. And if I may say so, that is a delightful pearl necklace. Oh, and you brought wine. Ooooh, what a scrumptious pinot noir, let's open this now shall we? Well, you're here, please let me show you the new digs.

Starting in the foyer here, you'll find we have a new blog header. I changed the font to Engraver MT, much like our national currency. You see, I'm very metaphorical and I think this font is a good representation of me. The metaphor here being, "I'm all about the Benjamins, Mofo." But you probably knew that already.

Just below this you'll find the new GWGG mascot, "Fat Boxer Guy." As I see it,"Fat Boxer Guy" is a brilliant representation of greatness through gumption. I mean really, he's fat. He's just going to get the shit kicked out of him. That's gumption.

On down the column, my, what's this? A new picture? That's an attractive chap. Oh, wait, that's me. [Foppish laughter ensues]. How embarrassing. Pressing on.

And we're walking, and we're walking. Ah, yes. I'm very proud of this new addition. Gestures of Greatness. As an art lover, I'm dedicating this little space to decorate my walls. Each week, I encourage readers to submit pictures of greatness (greatness in: humor, the macabre, schadenfreude, irony, stupid shit, etc.) If you have a piece of artwork you'd like to share please e-mail me and I will post the best pic of the week here. If you don't, then I'll have to steal some bullshit off the interweb and hang it here. To start it off I have placed Kristian Hargis' Clown #4. In this drawing Kristian wholly captures the horror that is clowns. Well done, Kristian, well done.

What's that? Where's my link list? Why it's right here silly. Top of the list (natch) we've got a delightful icon of the website. Oh, me....

Next is my MySpace page. Never has such a delightful tool been created to so thoroughly stalk your friends and your friends' friends and your friends' friends' friends. And for that, I'm happy to post it here.

Following this is the CNN Political Ticker. This link represents my complete lack of varied news input.

Oooh, then we've got Wonkette. I encourage you NOT to follow this link as I shamelessly steal from them and by clicking on this link you will reveal me as a sham. You wouldn't want to do that would you?

Yeah, and there's a google link.

Over the mantle we've hung the Archives of Gumption. I just love to accessorize. Don't you? Isn't it sexy the way it's laid out? Go ahead, click on an arrow, you know you want to. Was it good for you?

If you'll follow me into the cellar we've got the Google AdSense addition. You see, I think I'm going to owe money on my taxes this year. How am I going to pay for it? You're going to click on whatever link Google puts on my page, then they're going to send me a big fat check, that's how. Right now I believe we've got an ad for Katrina relief. You should probably click on that. What? Don't you care about relieving Katrina victims? You heartless bastard.

Well, we appear to be at the end of our tour and I've polished off your bottle of pinot noir. So now I'm shitfaced and need to go search for porn. You must excuse me. Thanks for coming by. We must get together again soon.

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