Sunday, March 25, 2007

Boredom, It's A Dangerous Thing

For the first time in (2) months I didn't have to go anywhere this weekend. It really has been a pretty crazy couple of months, but enjoyable to be sure. At the very least my travels gave me something to write/complain about and that's pretty great in and of itself.

"I just don't know what I'm going to do with myself having this weekend free. Yuck, yuck, yuck," I joked to friends and co-workers. However, it wasn't long before I realized I really didn't know what to do with myself. By early Friday evening a profound boredom had set in. From there I entered what can only be defined as a "death spiral." Well, here, I documented the whole thing for you, you'll see.

UPDATING MY MYSPACE HEADLINE

FRIDAY, 9:00PM - It all started innocently enough, updating my social life via myspace. However, when I unconsciously posted the headline, "Drowning in sea of boredom. Be mericful. Please shoot in face," I began to get the feeling that things might not be quite right.

TO DO: MUST CUT ARMPIT HAIR - TOO SWEATY

FRIDAY, 3:00AM - I have always been a sweater, but when it's 3:00am and you leap out of bed to cut your armpit hair in an effort ward off "the sweaties," again, something just ain't right.

"MY LITTLE BUTTERCUP"

SATURDAY, 10:00AM - By Saturday morning a delusional state, far beyond normal, had set in. Somehow, I had procured a germ costume and began performing "My Little Buttercup" on a loop for (12) hours.

SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND

SATURDAY, 11:00PM - This was it. I had snapped. I had to escape my apartment. I just had to. "IT'S WHAT I'VE GOT TO DO!" I rushed to one of my local watering holes, Bamboo 52, to see if a little socialization might cure what ailed me. It was too late. The boredom had rendered me psychologically unsound. At this point, I became convinced that I was being attacked by French pirates, and unleashed a fury of chicken-wing elbow punches. Suffice it to say I crushed them scalliwags!


Overreacting? Maybe. I just don't know. I could always just take up crocheting.

1 comment:

Ryan said...

I can't believe you didn't include the Firefly portion of your weekend. Under the circumstances, I will let it go for the sake of editorial license.

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