Sunday, January 21, 2007

Storytime

It is no wonder that kids today are underperforming. But you know what? It isn't their fault.


The blame lies in crappy children's books like the one shown here. In my recent trip to my local Barnes and Noble, I stumbled upon Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus. If you have never read this book, the premise is essentially a poorly drawn, disease-ridden pigeon pleads, cajoles and annoys the reader in an attempt to be permitted to drive a bus. At the conclusion of the book the bus driver returns and thanks the reader for not letting the pigeon drive the bus. End of Story. Really. That's the end of the book. And we're all stupider for having read it.

The damage this book and others of its ilk have caused is staggering. According to statistics*, 75% of American children actually think that pigeons can talk to them. Furthermore, an additional 60% of children feel that CDL licenses should be made available to pigeons with good driving records. Unacceptable.

It is time we present our children with books that challenge them and provide the skills to understand the dangerous world around them. That being said, I offer the following children's book for your consideration.










Too soon for the clowns? Probably. I really just hate those heartless killers. Anyway, right now I'm shopping it around for a publisher. I'll let you know how it goes.



*Statistics courtesy of GARRIGAN INSTITUTE FOR THE ADVANCEMENT OF MADE UP STATISTICS, LLC

1 comment:

Patti said...

I LOVE this book! I think it's really cute. Albeit stupid and quite an obvious message (birds can't drive), but I think it has a nice ring to it.

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