Sunday, September 10, 2006

I Want To Experience New Things

So after spending the past few years out of the country serving in the military my baby brother, Brian, is making his triumphant return to New York City. I thought to myself, I don't want to give my lil' brother just your average Empire State Building / Statue of Liberty experience. I thought I might try to create unique experiences that he can walk away with some real lasting memories of his visit. I took these intentions to the web and was excited to find some brochures that just might be what I'm looking for.

Brian has always been really outdoorsy. With this in mind, I really wanted to do something where he could get outside and enjoy the majesty of New York's finer things while still being physically engaged. I think I found the perfect fit:

"Do you love international culinary delights, but don't have a 5 star budget? Not a problem with DEPTH: Dumpster Diving Tours! New York City boasts some of the world's finest cuisine and Dirty Dave thinks you should be able to taste it all. Dirty Dave brings his experience as an inventory manager (scavenger) and sommelier (wino) to bring you the finest the city has to offer. These 3 hour tours will take you inside the dumpsters of NYC's finest establishments. Sick bag and latex gloves included in tour price. Book now tours might fill up."

Recently, Brian told me, "Patrick I've grown up and I want to experience new things." About a year ago, Brian and I got matching tattoos. That really got me thinking, maybe we should take it to the next level:

"Kim Soon draws from her exhaustive 4 months at the Palisades Mall's Piercing Pagoda to bring New York the latest in piercing technology. Kim describes her artistry poetically and yet succinctly, "If you have skin. I put hole in it." Kim takes the fact that she's "just practicin" and passes the savings on to you!"

With all these activities going on, it wasn't long before I realized this is going to start to cost a lot! How could I afford to do all these fun things? Was there some way that Brian and I could score some cash and in turn have another fun activity? I all but gave up on the idea when I stumbled on this ad in the Hell's Kitchen Chronicle:

"When it comes to black market kidneys our name says it all! It isn't just a kidney removal, it's an adventure! TOP DOLLAR PAID CASH!! Complimentary shuttles to St. Vincent's available upon request."

Yeah, I think it is pretty fair to say it is going to be a great visit. Something, you know, memorable.

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